Kelly Vohs

I continue to bump into people in our organization who want perfection. It’s hard for them to conceptualize the idea of experimenting. Iterating until we get it right.

It's broken today.

It's not their fault, they don't feel safe.

They don't know it is okay to make mistakes.

They don't want to show vulnerability or weakness.

My fault.

Sometimes life is as simple as making a choice to Be. Not get. Not work on. Not hope for. Not find time for. Simply choosing to be.

My friend recently signed up for an Ironman. The problem is he can’t swim. For him, it’s rooted in a deep fear of drowning. Terrified. Now, this is a no BS, no excuse guy.

He looks his biggest fear in the face and says: ‘Awe, F*ck It’

Because he understands that fear is something that can be controlled.

I'm lucky to interview a lot of people as part of what I do. Great to hear the stories.

One question that I ask of people going into a senior role is:

“We have spent a lot of time understanding the good parts of you. We all have demons. What are the parts of you that you don’t like? What are the worst parts of you?”

A few answers over years: “My addiction to alcohol” “I don’t spend enough time with my kids” “My arrest for barbiturates”

He was at least 6'3”. Maybe 6'5”. Big guy.

You see he was just laid off. He said, quite sincerely, “I understand, it isn't their fault.” Wow. I wish I could tell him the truth. It is someone's fault. Bad decision somewhere and now he's dealing with it.

He works with his hands. He fixes things. Builds things. He has a family. A young family. He wore a suit. He looked good. You see, he was applying for a new job and getting it was important. He has a wife. A little one. He's 12. He wants desperately to take care of them. You can tell he just wants to do what's right. To be a good father. A good husband. A good human. Now he's out of a job. Only for a week but when you live paycheck to paycheck that is real. My gut tells me he doesn't because he lives beneath his means. But maybe not.

Believe. Anyone that has gone through the Q Course (Special Forces Qualification Course) has heard these words: Just don't quit. It was often said in jest but there is a great deal of truth to it. There are so many times when you are cold, wet, tired (emotionally and physically), hungry, injured (emotionally and physically), and filled with self-doubt.

It’s not clear to me why these two traits seem to be hard for leaders to do well. My gut tells me it all circles back to ego.

Just be who you are. All the time. You won’t be perfect. Show your weaknesses.

Don’t play favorites. You will have people you naturally gravitate too but don’t treat them differently as it relates to information, compensation, or anything else.

Maybe you are afraid they will see you for who you really are…well isn’t that a good thing? Are you afraid that they might realize you don’t know everything? Well, you don’t. They know it. You know it. Stop pretending.

You are responsible as the leader but you aren’t responsible for having all the answers. You are only responsible for all of the decisions.